"I am fascinated by what it takes to stay awake in difficult times. I marvel at what we do in times of transition — how we resist, and how we surrender; how we stay stuck, and how we grow. Since my first major broken-open experience — my divorce — I have been an observer and a confidante of others as they engage with the forces of their own suffering. I have made note of how fiasco and failure visit each one of us, as if they were written into the job description of being human. I have seen people crumble in times of trouble, lose their spirit, and never fully recover, I have seen others protect themselves fiercely from any kind of change, until they are living a half lie, safe yet stunted.
"But I have also seen another way to deal with a fearful change or a painful loss. I call this other way the Phoenix Process — named for the mythical phoenix bird who remains awake through the fires of change, rises from the ashes of death, and is reborn into this most vibrant and enlightened self. . .
"I've tried both ways: I have gone back to sleep in order to resist the forces of change. And I have stayed awake and been broken open."This quote is from the introduction to Elizabeth Lesser's phenomenal work, Broken Open. It has been a meaningful piece for me, since I read it a number of years ago. Today, these words took on a whole new meaning.
Last night the yoga studio where I teach had an awful fire. One of the massage rooms was completely destroyed and the devastation was palpable. This is a picture as we cleaned today.
As the day went on, more and more people arrived to help, each bringing their own unique style of love and support. Together we cleaned and trashed and literally walked through soot and ash, and then in the most mundane moment I saw them right before me my own phoenix examples.
These women, so strong and so brave, were right there, picking themselves up and rising from the ash. They were deeply engaged in the moment and I believe through their laughter they realized they would fly again. It was so beautiful.
These women were nothing short of inspiring. I knew they did not recognize their own strength, we never seem to notice it in times of crisis, do we? It is just there, an inner determination and instinct, it is the will to walk through the fire yet again.
I ache for the loss at our studio... carrying out the beautiful posters of amazing asanas that lined the hall, cleaning the soot off absolutely everything!, scooping up the charred keepsakes and trinkets that had once held such meaning.
And yet, I find myself so comforted by the phoenix process. The symbolism of the phoenix that we so often evoke in our classes has new meaning for me.
Yes the destruction is great, but the rising up and rebirth is so much greater.
Namaste
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